Scientology roundup – Jan 2008

Forget my previous favorite, the Farting Preacher, Scientologists make our old coked up pal look positively normal. Let’s start out with the short 9 min. video of Tom Cruise – the one everyone is talking about. This video was aired during an award ceremony thrown in Mr Tom’s honor. It seems that the suits of Scientology are desperately trying to get this video pulled but thanks to the interwebs it’s not gonna happen.

Let’s preface this video by recalling one of the secrets of Scientology that has come to light, the story of Xenu meant for the ears of OT level III members only: The story says that Xenu, the ruler of a Galactic Confederacy, brought billions of aliens to Earth in a spacecraft, threw them into volcanoes around the globe and then blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together, stuck to the bodies of the living and continue to do so to this today. The clinging of these alien souls to human bodies is the hidden reason behind of our problems and of course we all know who can get rid of these pesky soul critters right! Pretty straight forward if you ask me!

WTF you talking about Willis! Scientology Mumbo Jumbo Dictionary

Scientology mini dictionary (care of

*KSW (short for Keeping Scientology Working): A policy written by
Hubbard in the 1960’s that requires all Scientologists to follow his
words and his rules exactly.

‘Orgs: Orgs is an abbreviation for ‘organizations’ and describes
all churches of Scientology throughout the world.

*David Miscavige: He is the current leader of Scientology.
He’s the equivalent of the Pope to the Catholics.

*Out-ethics: any behavior that violates any of Hubbard’s
rules of conduct.

*Put ethics in on someone else: make others conform
to Hubbard’s rules of behavior.

*Criminon: Scientology front group that tries to recruit through the prisons.

* SP: Suppressive Person. Anyone that doesn’t like Scientology and/or criticizes Scientology.

*PTS/SP: another Hubbard term to define behavior that goes
against Scientology rules.

*LRH technology or ‘tech’: all the Scientology policies, rules, mandates, procedures. (more) (less)

Another video depicting friendly Scientologists in Clearwater Florida

Clearwater is the worldwide “spiritual headquarters” of the Church of Scientology. The guy in question was forbidden to film an event, even on a public street and then bullied by some nice friendly Scientologist locals.

Here is a nice spoof of Tom’s rant from the “Late Late Show”

Remember too that Scientology IS NOT a CULT!!!! 😉 Never call them that, they really don’t like it. It’s a religion, really it is.