Quickfit Fitness Studio Boulder – Loose 4 inches in 1 hour – Yikes!!

Quickfit / Quick fit fitness Studio you are officially on my shit list. On Tue Jan 24th an agent of yours was seen flyering cars in the Ideal Market / Vics Parking lot on Broadway. Ok, so you gotta get your message out somehow and even though I’m sure this is illegal as technically the parking lots in question are private property I am somewhat sympathetic to your cause. 

But when I read the glossy full color flyer I was flabbergasted !! The leaflet proclaimed that they can help me loose 1-4 inches in less than an hour – sweet Jesus, what a crock of utter shite!!


Let’s see why I’m whisking Quickfit to the top of my shit list and why so much about this leaflet is just plain WRONG. 


  1. This is Boulder, hello …… there are no fat people in Boulder, have you ever seen a fat person in Boulder???? We don’t allow fat people within the city limits. 
  2. Home surgery is illegal and dangerous (how else are you gonna get rid of 4 inches in an hour other that hacking it off your belly with a machete)
  3. Don’t leave shit on my window – I have to exert energy to physically remove it, then dispose of it in an environmentally friendly, green, organic, vege free manner. Multiply this by 100, the number of shitty leaflets you handed out and you can see how much productivity was wasted on Tue. Time we will never ever get back!
  4. This is Boulder, we like to think of ourselves as somewhat environmentally conscious – don’t leave dead treats on our window without good reason especially if they contain illegal and outlandish claims.
  5. This is a great lesson in how NOT to start a new business in our little town!!

Why write an article, haven’t I got better things to do???

MyLittlePortal is the voice of the people, the common man and woman and I will avenge the wrong perpetrated against them by calling upon the wrath of the Gods of Google to place this article on the interwebs and in the Google search index. When anyone searches for these ass clowns my article will be a beacon of truth at the top of the search results. The people of Boulder can sleep peacefully tonight knowing that MyLittlePortal has avenged these idiot.
Over and out …. 
UPDATE: we appear to be on page one of the search results – let the wrath begin 🙂