Thank you “Richard Bloody Reid”, thank you! I am referring to the fellow Brit with the same first name who tried to unsuccessful (thank god) blow up his sneakers while on board a transatlantic flight from the UK to the US in 2006. Because of you, you silly wanker!, tens of millions of us here in the US have to take off our shoes at airport security check points!
This got me thinking – if a terrorist managed to stick some high explosives up his or her butt and was caught trying to light them would tens of millions of us now be subject to anal cavity searches. I got to thinking this while waiting in line at DIA on a recent trip to Chicago. I have to admit it’s some what inconvenient to take off ones shoes (cold smelly feet, brightly colored socks etc.) but shite, the thought of us all having to drop trou (in the tens of millions) was quite alarming!
I can see it now, rows of little private curtained inspection boothes, “please sir, touch your toes”, “thank you” …. So please, buddies of Richard Reid, don’t even think about it OK!
I just read this great article in the Washington Post on how we’ve become too fussy when it comes to choosing a mate. I was wondering what people’s deal breakers were – what action or mannerism will make you call things off on say the third date? The Washington Post article lists some funnies; one guy made an inappropriate comment about a woman’s shoes and another disliked his potential life partner’s enthusiasm toward mayonnaise and Taquitos from 7-Eleven (well just look at them!!)
My top 10 deal breakers: (I wrote this list in 2006 so as of 2009 it may be slightly different :))
1) You voted for Bush – not much more I can say on this topic (Christ was Kerry that bad!)
2) Trumpet like flatulence
3) General nastiness and grumpiness
4) Selfishness – a count of how many times the word I or me is used in a 15 min. period. Over 25 and I’m outa here!
5) Manliness – inability to look at least somewhat feminine some of the time
6) Excessive makeup and pre-activity preparation
7) Bossiness – I’m all for the strong willed fiery types but a bossy demeanor without the awareness of it is not gonna score any points
8) Ignorance – “I don’t read the newspaper” and “Where are you from, South America?” (Note/Hint: I am NOT from a continent I’m from a country. The country is east of South America, across the ocean and down at the very bottom!)
9) You don’t get my jokes or silly humor
10) I send you 5 emails in a row and don’t hear a peep from you (Ok so perhaps not 5 but if were dating even casually extended periods of radio silence from the phone or interwebs are a bad sign especially if your dating your best friend)
Remember that my list is more of a theoretical exercize and who really ever gets exactly what they want! – I dated a girl for 6 months who voted for Bush! OK, now it’s your turn! Enter your deal breakers (top 3, 5 ,10 or however few you want) in the comments section below. They will go into a queue where I will review and then publish them at the bottom of this page. Get to it!
A quick post about my experience with Match.com at week 2 of my foray into interweb dating. I’ve sent out 50 odd emails, only got about 10 replies and have gone on approximately ZERO dates.
Sure it’s a numbers game right, the more emails you send the more responses you’ll get back and the more dates you’ll get right. But from my past experience some 2 years ago I never remember having such piss poor luck. Could my piss poor results be down to one of the following:
- 40, that magic number, girls in their mid 30s don’t want to even look at guys who are that old
- Many more men than woman? I was told by a pal today that the split is now 50/50 compared to years ago when there were a ton more blokes than lasses. Well bullshite I say, a quick search of woman age 35-42 within 20 miles of my 80302 Zip yields 250 BUT men in that demographic / age range yields almost double the bumber 450.
- Bad photos, my photos are ok but could be better
- Piss poor personality – not a lot I can do about this one (joke)
- Fussy about what I want and like
Well I signed up and paid for the bloody service (even thought I got $80 back, ha ha ) so I’ll keep at it for a bit longer. It’s somewhat entertaining if not frustrating but seeing as my “meeting woman in real life” skills or stats seem to be so poor (or lately, so tragic) I don’t have any other statically better options right now. Even though this post errs on the Brit negative side I’m still confident that I’ll meet someone within the next month or so. Time will tell, will report back soon 🙂